How Christianity Ruined My Life (My Deconstruction Story & What Saved My Life)

Hi, my name is Garry. Now, I’m an atheist. I’m a digital writer and copywriter by profession. I was born a Hindu and my whole family converted to Christianity in 2010.

But now I’m free from all the religion, living a happier life for myself, and I’m going to share with you my deconstruction story of why I left Christianity, and after leaving it how I rebuilt my life on my own without believing any God or Jesus Christ.

It was the year 2010 when we started going to church. I started believing in Jesus Christ with my whole family.

I used to believe in everything I’ve been told in the church that you’re nothing, you’re a sinner, you’re dead, you’re poor, but God loves you so much and He doesn’t want to see you in pain.

So He sent his beloved son Jesus Christ on the earth and with Jesus’s blood you’re healed, you’re freed, you’re free from the devil, you got the ticket to enter eternal life in heaven.

But if you don’t accept Jesus and don’t follow him, you will have to suffer all your life and you’ll end up in hell for eternity.

And this is the whole concept of Christianity.

But when I started to find the meaning and reason of the stories and statements in the Bible, most of the information didn’t make any sense. I was always in doubt.

But, at the same time, I was scared about losing my faith because faith and reason can’t co-exist.

Then after years of struggling with maintaining my faith and having doubts at the same time, I decided to research all my doubts about the stories such as stories of Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, Mary getting pregnant by God’s will, Jesus’s resurrection, and the stories of heaven and hell.

Then I found out that the Bible isn’t about any religion or God, but all about emotional manipulation, slavery, fantasies, illusary stories, dogma, and total bullshit.

The whole Bible doesn’t make any sense and was written by humans from their different experiences and turned into a religious textbook to control the masses and make them a slave of Christ.

All the time in the churches I’ve been told that you’re born a sinner, you’re worthless, you’re crazy, you’re a failure, and the only thing you need is Jesus Christ.

But if you don’t accept and follow Jesus, you’re going to hell.

THIS IS COMPLETE MENTAL ABUSE.

Gaslighting. Emotionally manipulation. They make you feel lower and dumb. They gaslight you.

And all the stories of heaven and hell are also made up by them to scare you otherwise you won’t listen to them.

Do you know who are the poorest people in the world? Like the poorest of the poorest? Who?

The poorest people in the world are those who were born to live freely, who were born to live their lives for themselves, but they wasted their whole lives living for Jesus Christ.

Think about it.

Because you spent your whole life living & dying for someone else, but you never lived for yourself. You always tried to love someone else but never loved yourself.

You accepted someone else in your life but never accepted who you are in your own life. You always followed someone else but never followed yourself.

You wasted your whole life praising and listening to someone else but never listened to yourself and never enjoyed your life.

You don’t know who you are and what’s the purpose of your life.

And I’m saying out loud that this is the biggest mistake people make. They know nothing about self-love, or self-acceptance but wasted their whole life in slavery.

This is the softest yet most dangerous technique used in the churches unknowingly to make people into the trap by showing them miracles and then making them mentally sick. They target your emotions harder by telling them the so-called word of God; emotions such as love of God, fear of hell, Jesus giving you freedom and peace, and making your heart full of hatred.

It’s simple because nobody would’ve listened to Jesus if he had never shown any miracles and made them afraid of hell and the afterlife.

But asking people to love you back and making them afraid is called unconditional love or fake love, not real love of God. This bullshit is so disturbing and always makes me sick.

It made me hate myself. I never accepted myself as I am in my life. I was always in fear of losing my faith and committing sin. This ruined my whole mental and physical health.

Because living your life by someone else’s laws isn’t a life worth living. You have only one life and you destroyed it for someone else but never lived for yourself. This way you can’t live happily and fearless.

But I didn’t become an atheist by myself.

The man who made me an atheist, his name is Rajneesh Osho.

The day I started listening to Osho, I’m not gonna lie but he changed my whole life. He changed my whole perspective on living my life, finding myself and living my life without any dogma, fear, or hate. He reprogrammed my old mind and reprogrammed it with his amazing words.

Osho was the first person who called out all the religions of the world and exposed them all. He didn’t believe in any God but used to say that the meaning of God is Godliness. God isn’t a person, but a quality that you can adopt.

The best thing I learned from Osho is that: To live a happy, fulfilled, and spiritual life, you don’t need any God, no need any religion or religious scripture, no need any messenger of God or son of God.

But all you need to follow is YOU. All you need to believe in is YOURSELF. All you need to love and accept is YOURSELF. And all you need to find the truth or meaning of life is YOU. Everything is inside you.

MEDITATION is The method to find, love, or accept yourself. That’s it. It would help if you had nothing else to go inside you. You no longer need to find the purpose or truth of life anywhere else but you’ll find everything inside yourself by mediation. Meditation is all about living in the present moment without fearing hell, past life, or future.

There’s no God or religion involved in meditation but only YOU. That’s how I’m rebuilding myself after leaving Christianity and because now I’m aware of the reality and my inner self, there’s no single chance to fall back in the old life. Once you become an atheist you can never build your trust again in anything you’ve left.

And today I’m free. It wasn’t easy for me to leave. Took me a long time to find out the reality and realize to see upside down. My family is still Christian and they still tell me to go to church but I just ignore them.

And the best thing after leaving my religion is that if you ever tasted yourself, your reality, and started accepting yourself, there’s never going back to any religion. Because you know the truth and you can’t deceive yourself.

So, if you already left Christianity or you are on the way to leaving it, please start listening to Osho and make meditation part of your life. Otherwise, you may not be able to handle yourself or think you’ve made the wrong decision.

Leave everything else and go inside yourself, you’ll see the light inside yourself, and you’ll never go back to the darkness ever again.

That’s it.

I hope you enjoyed my story.